Brexit winners and losers

WINNERS

CORNISH FISHERMEN

Like trawlermen in other UK ports, Newlyn boat skippers have actually welcomed much bigger quantities of the fish quota being ‘repatriated’. On the other hand, Dutch rival Nathanel Middlekoop whinges: ‘The EU is transferring EUR1.6 billion of fishing rights to the UK.’

LADY FROST

At last, the partner of Britain’s primary mediator, Lord (David) Frost– herself a previous ambassador to Somalia– will see more of him, rather than being a Brexit widow for months as he shuttled constantly in between Brussels and London.

NIGEL FARAGE

After almost 30 years of (sometimes single-handed) battle, certainly he now should have a knighthood. Arise, Sir Nigel of Brexit?

CORNISH FISHERMEN: Like trawlermen in other UK ports, Newlyn boat skippers have actually invited much bigger quantities of the fish quota being ‘repatriated’.

THE GREAT FOLK OF KENT.

The avoidance of No Offer will stop the ‘Garden of England’ from ending up being a huge lorry park and latrine because freight chauffeurs will not have to queue for miles while awaiting checks to cross the Channel.

BORIS JOHNSON.

After rightly being showered with kudos, he can concentrate on weding fiancee Carrie and raising child Wilf. Likewise, there’s the no small job of ending Covid constraints, rebuilding the economy, saving the Union, repairing social care etc and so on

. COSTA DEL CROOK.

Although we remain registered to DNA, fingerprint and vehicle registration databases, there are fears that our loss of access to other criminal activity details systems will make it simpler for fugitive Britons living abroad to avoid justice.

NIGEL FARAGE: After almost 30 years of (often single-handed) battle, definitely he now should have a knighthood. Emerge, Sir Nigel of Brexit?

THE FACTORY IN POLAND MAKING UK PASSPORTS.

In production because March, there will be much greater need for the brand-new, blue ₤ 75.50 passports.

THE BRITISH PEOPLE.

Undoubtedly the most significant winners. After 47 years yoked to other European countries and based on laws set in Brussels, the mandate of the largest vote in British history has been honoured.

LOSERS.

KATYA ADLER.

The BBC’s Europe Editor has actually been a near-constant precursor of doom on our TV screens since the run-up to the referendum. The 48-year-old mother-of-three, who speaks five languages, will surely now struggle to discover anything to report to validate her ₤ 210,000 income.

SCOTTISH POTATO FARMERS.

Seed potatoes (tubers used to grow brand-new plants) are on a par with salmon or whisky as a premium export, worth ₤ 112 million a year. Although EU will enable practically all UK food and plant imports, seed potatoes are banned.

KATYA ADLER: The BBC’s Europe Editor has been a near-constant precursor of doom on our TV screens because the run-up to the referendum.

THE GUARDIAN PAPER.

In apoplectic state of mind, it states Boris ‘should have no credit’, having ‘played the system cynically’. A bad end to a year when the world’s most woke newspaper had to confront the fact that it was founded with a fortune connected to cotton slaves.

STUDENTS.

For more than 30 years, the Erasmus plan has used British students the chance to study for a year at another European university. But failure to agree the expenses of continued subscription has ended our participation– albeit replaced with a plan called after wartime codebreaker Alan Turing.

NICOLA STURGEON: Scotland’s First Minister would have screamed betrayal whatever occurred, but her case for independence will be harder thinking about the unique protections for markets such as fisheries, Arbroath smokies and Orkney cheddar.

NICOLA STURGEON.

Scotland’s First Minister would have shouted betrayal whatever took place, however her case for self-reliance will be harder thinking about the special securities for industries such as fisheries, Arbroath smokies and Orkney cheddar.

REMAINER PUNDITS.

It’s a hope– but, regretfully, not likely to be satisfied– that rent-a-quotes such as Alastair Campbell, Lord Adonis and Lib Dem leader Sir Ed Davey will be provided less primetime platforms on BBC Radio 5 and Sky News.

Makers of car number-plate stickers with EU stars sign From January 1, if your car sports one of these, you’ll need a different GB sticker when driving in the EU.

Assembled by JAMES HEALE

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